He got that James Dean daydream look in his eye … This guy lives in Dalston, hangs out in Shoreditch. He’s edgy. And he has no need for those hard-rimmed glasses. Absolutely zilch. This is the lad that takes you to a bar where they serve cocktails out of jam jars and serve food in a dog bowl. Also terribly romantic when he wants to be – but only if you think being woken up at midnight after three weeks of silence is romantic, all you want to do is swap meaningful, burning looks in the course of a long cold ride on the Number 55, and you’re quite content to be fed the full menu of his smooth one liners.

2. I Knew You Were Trouble

Once upon a time, a few mistakes ago… Trouble walked into a bar. Point is, he’s the guy you meet one Friday night after one too many double G&T’s in Camden Barfly. He’s not your usual type but you’re 100% spleened for the evening and he doesn’t care, so you don’t care. Most of the evening comes back in flashes, like a kaleidoscope of memories. In the morning, you’ll crawl onto the sofa with your flatmate and tell them about Irish Snakebites Guy or Band T-Shirt Boy and describe your amazing, unforgettable DFMO with a guy whose name you can’t remember, whose number you’ve drunkenly deleted, and who you’ll obsess over for at least the rest of the weekend.

3. Treacherous

I’d be smart to walk away… But you’re quicksand… It all seems fun and games at first with this guy, then you realise that this slope City boy is treacherous. You like it, of course you do. He makes you feel wonderful. He’s a charmer, probably works super long hours in Canary Wharf and wears a delectable suit. However, let’s face it, you swiped right for this cheeky chappy because you almost certainly met him on Tinder. The path is more than a little reckless, but the attention is amazing and you will definitely enjoy your fancy dates to crazy-exclusive, super-expensive cocktail bars in Central London. However, he’s also the guy than on date number two or three you might wonder if it was a mistake. My advice? Give this one time. And don’t let him know where you live too soon.

4. The Story of Us

See me nervously pulling at my clothes and trying to look busy, And you’re doing your best to avoid me… A born-and-bred Londoner, he isn’t a bad type. However, you’ve tested the waters, gone on a date, and now you’re stuck doing that awkward ‘we’re not sure if we’re speaking’ thing because dating him is a bit like riding the Circle Line at rush hour with neither of you willing to break the Rule of Silence… even though you really want to sit with him… and there’s an empty seat next to him… and all he’s using it for is a giant bag. Gambling on whether he’s going to make space for you in his life is risky. He’ll probably try to avoid eye contact and leave you feeling like a lemon. Or he’ll reluctantly move the bag just enough for you to squeeze in but it’s not real commitment. However, he might look up, see you, move the bag and his pride to the floor, and that can be the beginning of a real story.

5. Bad Blood

Cause, baby, now we got bad blood / You know it used to be mad love … Just your typical geezer who moved into London from somewhere like Stevenage.  He thinks he’s a bit of a Lad. Meet him on a night out and he’s the guy that wolf whistles, calls you a ‘rocket’, then tell his mates he just wants to ‘smash that’. Be warned, for all that he can say the right words and show you some good times, this guy’s a player. Also if you turn him down he’s the King of Ego. Rejection makes him nasty and fickle. Don’t get attached. Shake him off. Enjoy yourself as a strong, awesome, powerful single lady instead because girls, we deserve better.

6. Begin Again

Walked in expecting you’d be late / But you got here early and you stand and wave … Everything the others weren’t, this guy is polite, makes you laugh and respects you. In all likelihood, very little about him stands out. He lives in Clapham or Wimbledon or Finchley or Acton. He wears a suit but not a tie to work in a job with a nice progression rate. He’s happy eating at The Anchor on Southbank, or splurging at an eatery like Kurobuta in Marble Arch. He’ll happily come with you to the V&A or for a sunlit rummage on Brick Lane. This guy is your guy; relaxed, honest, nice. He might even be a keeper. Sadly, you’re still hung up on the last boy you dated and he’s too close to the friendzone. Likely to be the buffer between you and the next Treacherous mistake, but at least he reminds you not to give up.

7. Shake It Off

I go on too many dates [chuckle] But I can’t make them stay… This one isn’t about the guys. It’s about us single, twenty-something London women. Right now, we’re kissing frogs instead of princes, as Lauren would say. Don’t worry about this. We’re allowed to make mistakes. We’re allowed to have fun with people we know are bad for us and to pass over the good ones because we’re not really ready to settle down. People might comment. They might gossip. You might sometimes feel like everyone is judging and laughing. But remember: the only person whose opinion matters is yours. So shake off the mess other people make. Judge yourself. Laugh at yourself. Love yourself. It’s the longest relationship you’re going to have.